Hello there.
Man, I miss updating from my old M Pro, the wild tapping of the black keys resting my hands on the aluminium body, watching my words appear alphabet after alphabet. Strings of feelings poured into a text box. Reminds me awfully about secondary 2 life, nights spent working hard to get into pure sciences. Boy did I get in, and oh was it all taken for granted.
Of course I have a reminder that I need to work harder than others now, a target I need to meet. The pressure is intense, but it is a standard I need to meet, a challenge I need to surpass.
Trying to discipline myself on a daily basis, my inner voice weighing the advantages and vice versa of my every thought and action. Down to my meals, time planning, everything. It is all what I call a 2011 debt - a year of struggle yet no signs of deliberate fixing, a year digging for love in all the wrong places and wrong time. Well, there were good boys, but it all should have waited. The path to my future - hopefully is left unplanned. I might not have the best of directions but I hope that the one I've drawn out for myself is the way I can and am going. Goodbye to my painful pasts.
Say hello to gorgeous mornings, with the sun's glory shining and lighting up every inch of the room. Radios playing Joshua Radin, Jack J and Damien Rice, a cup of warm tea with a cube of sugar floating in its warm goodness. Nestled in the warm comfort of your bed, gently tangled in between the sheets. The balcony's door is open a crack, and it lets in a nice, midsummer breeze that chills your cheek. Birds chirp on tree branches of fluffy green trees outside your apartment's balcony, as the whirr of Sydney's engines roaring in the life of the morning seems to echo into your bedroom, like a pleasant melody that plays everyday. The birds, the garbage truck, the shutters of the grocers, the setting up of the paper stand, pulling up of the morning buses, clicking of a lady's stilettos against the asphalt, and so much more. You look over to the other side of your bed and you beam at the rise and sink between the mountainous blankets, gently reaching over trying to identify the gentle soul's shoulder, before pecking its cheek and smiling,
"Good morning Haziq. Wake up, it's time for work."
It was always how I imagined it. I KNOW, QUITE CREEPY. OK GOOSEBUMPS, GROSS GROSS GROSS thinking about an ex like that. Okay lol, sorry for the poorly written descriptives, I think I wrote it in September last year as a draft. Well it's a sad truth, but nonetheless a truth.
He is not going to come back and well it's a good thing, but he meant so much before and when he actually leaves the amount of hurt and emptiness always drains me to a big fat negative.
Ok, life's good, studying hard, CJC, hockey '13. <3