{masquerade}
My name is Liting and I'm going to be fifteen. I am naive and my faith in things fluctuate. I am mad, like a mad hatter. I am short-tempered, like my height. I am sensitive and the slightest insult just seem to grow into and onto me. I never had sufficient belief in myself. I am inconsiderate and think obsessively. I take reality into hand excessively. Words are my friends and I always had the desire to be the best if I had my go at anything.
I avoid the gaps in between the cement on pavements. I laugh too loud, I talk louder. I laugh too hard and think redundantly. I annoy people. I lie too much. I try to run away from the noise. But it just comes. I am always lost in thought. My mother has told me that she shouldn't have had me. I have cried. I don't move on easy. Laughter is my only way out. I am pathetic and I hate people easily. I fear the dark. Extremely. I hear silence as a shrill melody despite the fact that I hate noise too. I am indecisive. While people are drawing lines I'm drawing circles. I don't pay attention, I forget things. I don't care, and sometimes I care too much. Sometimes I feel the aching pain in my chest and the sore lump in my throat, and I think they call it heartache. I am a whole lot of awkward while people call me unique. I always think of new things. New colours, new ideas, new things.
I dig into old wounds voluntarily and blindly. My life reeks of constipated colours. When I laugh, I feel free. When I embrace my gerbil or my dog, my heart feels untied from all burden. I fear scrutiny, yet I desire fame. Sometimes I want to lie in a bed of roses but sooner or later I know I'll feel the thorns that hide beneath.
I'm a bitch. Like previously said, I'm short-tempered. However, I'm too lazy to care. I'm a sloth. I don't care about change at all. Change never comes.
I always feel pressurized. Albeit studies, sports, whatsoever. I can even find the most minute of imperfect details and feel the pain.
I always wished I was lucky. All I can do is seek faith and hope He listens.
Sometimes I don't even know why I even care, why I even think, why I even continue to breathe.
Well yeah, I'm just another stupid teenage girl.
I'm not going to die just because I failed. I will only lie where I fell.
我只是一个失败。