Okay that just made it worse. I shed a tear, weeee. And by the way, if you think my blog reeks of emo-odours, it's my blog and whatever you fuss about will not contribute as a factor to this blog's content. So, negative or nonconstructive comments, shall remain unheard. Went to class late, can't bother. Stayed till the end of chemistry, forgot to go for Mr Lui's extra ketchup lesson. Ketchup as in 'catch up'. Pun intended. Played Sims as soon as I got home, built my karang-guni house, super happy yet unsatisfied. Let karang-guni be policeman instead, subsequently his career path will lead him to be a International Super Spy!! Okay, I'm lame and pathetic; haha I'm so fucked up.
Anyway, I know that my ears have been blocked for weeks and it affects my hearing (but obviously) so I tend to freak out and pull weird faces when I can't hear people. And I end up faking like I heard them clearly, or pull a freak that my ears are blocked. I can relate to their emotions because I too find myself annoying - not that I can blame myself. I know I tend to care a little too much about impressions and feelings towards me and well, glances and stares just add bitter lemons and sour grapes.
I'm addicted to Please Don't Go by Mike Posner and it hasn't been recent. It rings continuously in my head like clockwork, except there's only one line that sets itself on replay: Baby please don't go, if I wake up tomorrow will you still be here?
It dictates a lot of feelings in my opinion.
I have always been paranoid about a'fat leaving me. If she ever did, it would feel so literally as if someone ripped my heart into half.
Or maybe I'm still suffering from aftershock heartbreak, from that one fucked up relationship mistake.
Or it just could be a catchy song. I hope it is.
I guess I'm no mad scientist anymore... I think I'm sane. Tonight's sleep will be terrible.
// A n d t h i s i s w h y.
I descended down the stairs only to suddenly face a batch of aspiring young officers, dressed in dark navy blue uniform, fallen into neat rows and as if going to war against me, carrying menacing looks. A circle of focus and key concentration oozed into the tense atmosphere. It was awkward but what made it worse was seeing all this people stare right into me, giving me hardly anywhere to glance, escape, or think. I had to continue walking. A neat line of water bottles queued before them. Then between that batch of officers. I saw your face.
Oh how my brain throbbed once again, this time more painful than ever, how my heart ached and bled tears not red. I continued to talk to my friend. Act like nothing happened.
Because nothing did happen between us. All that happened was a mistake.
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