Twilight dreams and unsaid words

There. Notes, work, overdues, post-its. But that's the externals. The internal part of me remains like a bubbling cauldron of a witch's recipe. Something unexpected might happen and I'll be caught offguard - because something will grasp my attention. And there I will lay, another letdown. While others watch over me, smug or disappointed, full of pity or just going to notice... I brought it upon myself. Every part of my life is a crumble, from the start of the month. I love you but even if God gave me another chance I know it would never be the same. It never worked out from the start.

And I promise you, I do miss you. I miss seeing you look my way and smiling at me. I don't want you to walk past me and look away as if I was some parasite to your sight. And it does ache, even though I agreed to part. I thought it might do you good, and I knew I would be broken. But it was for the sake of everything, and I knew it was give or take. Pour or keep. Let go or hold on.

I said I wouldn't go. To be honest, I'm already half gone. Hey, I know you've gone further away from me. Maybe we're better to be friends. Or maybe I myself am a mistake.

Stopfuckingdrowningmyselfindrunksorrow.