It's 6am. I just woke up.
And I don't know if it's a miracle (despite owing Mr Lui his file and homework) but my mood floated.
Well maybe with a slight tinge of irreversible guilt.
Not completely irreversible, but you see, mine is mine. ;/
I'm sorry for breaking her heart and stuff.
MSN (or rather, Ebuddy) with Khairi, Don, Norman and Haziq. Bloody hell they all wanted to keep running away ah. Then it was left with a hovering Don, Norman and moi.
Brilliant. :)
I guess the only joy I have now is to tidy up my room and get my atom structures right, alongside my indices. Otherwise I'm bummed- and my English group is going to get a bloody lecture for late submission. I won't say anything here but I know what my group members are feeling. :)
I have solid friends who spit and drizzle food bits, gross but hilarious. Allson and Whitney were raining on me and Vanessa - had hell of a time laughing about it. Whitney said she wanted to tell us something but forgot so I came up with it for her - "You were born a hermaphrodite (I actually said two genitals, I forgot the term) but your mom chose for you to be a girl?" I didn't even reach 'your' in this case. I just burst out in sadistic laughing. 'Cus hermaphrodites are birth defects. Then Allson laughed, which led Vanessa to laugh, which led Whitney into a pissed off, "har har har, very funny".
Aw man, Sarah wasn't there. :( Sarah cheer up ok :D
Nonetheless, back to ground one.
I have no prepaid (grr) and damn it, I can't text sayang. I won't put his name anymore since Auntie told me he's shy ah. And I won't lie, I get shy too.
I haven't bought my New Year clothes or New Year shoes, so cheers. I'm probably going to celebrate it in rags and socks. Just because I don't want to get out of the house. Aiya sian. Major siantion.
Fuck it, might as well go jogging tomorrow after chem - since my schedule's so open and my owed homework is long done except I forgot to get it to him. Him, as in Mr Lui.
If I opened my eyes and saw only the luckier side, then maybe the side of pain and deprivation wouldn't hurt as much. Haha - well what's inevitable remains inevitable.
Lesley and Izzati told me two truths today - one I really can't care about but would've if it was 2010, and one that I feel absolutely guilty for. Okay maybe the first one I do feel a tinge of guilt since I was the stand-in. Should I go, or should I wait? I remember Haziq's quote.
But I can't bear to leave. As gross and sick as it might sound, I do love him.
I don't know her but this, is all too unexpected. Who knew.
I'm such a bitch. I deciphered something. I feel so Indiana Jones, so Da Vinci.
Maybe I should go.
Or maybe I should hire Haziq as my psychiatrist.
Not even sleep could pep me up. Friends probably. Or maybe sayang himself :(
Fuck I must stop being shy. And stop cussing.
Yeah.
Sounds like a good idea.
Ma still owes me six months of muay thai :(